


Backwoods

by Egotistic



Series: Moonsun Collection [3]
Category: K-pop, Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 21:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15894135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egotistic/pseuds/Egotistic
Summary: The moon stays, even when the sun doesn't.





	Backwoods

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s Mamamoo who owns me.
> 
> English isn’t my first language, apologies for any wrong grammar/spelling and such.
> 
> An attempt at angst, this work was done months ago but I only got to post this now in Ao3.

They love each other– even the shortest stares meant, _‘I love you.’_

They were always together – despite the contrast, the moon knew the sun, and the sun knew the moon. They walked the same path for years; skipped on the stone pavement; talked endlessly with the most trivial things.

They unconsciously memorized the antics of the other – almost akin to a duet deeply engraved in their minds.

A quiver of the sun had the moon reaching for her hand, clutching it and telling her that it’ll be okay, even when she’s only seen the slightest fear flashing in the other’s eyes for a millisecond.

The moon bites the inside of her lip, a habit she tends to do whenever she’s uncomfortable. But it wasn’t long before she lets go as she feels the sun’s arms enveloping her waist.

_“I’m relieved to see that you haven’t changed._

_I was worried that you wouldn’t recognize me.”_

Moonbyul whispered with a rare timidity, which Yongsun would’ve teased if she hadn’t been hugging the younger after being separated for so long.

They have a lot of dreams, one of which caused Moonbyul to move away. But dreams sometimes remain just as that – _dreams._

She was lost, a significant fraction of her bitterness coming from the absence of the light which makes her shine even in the darkest of nights.

When she returned (to an empty apartment she used to share with Yong), she flicks the lights on, preparing a homecooked dinner as a pleasant surprise ㅡ and maybe to lessen the older’s anger at her when she avoided everyone during her depression.

She was still busy cooking when she lets out a surprised yelp. Someone had tackled her with a harsh grip on her waist, and sniffles resounding in her ears.

She didn’t need to look behind, that familiar warmth embracing her was enough for Moonbyul to know that it was her Yongkong. The punches that landed on her back afterwards were just additional confirmation.

_“I feel the reason to live.”_

Moonbyul felt the air filling her lungs, just when she thought she had drowned already. The crippling thoughts of forever succumbing to the darkness had vanished, and she was forever grateful to the sun.

She kept these thoughts as a secret, her hand reaching to stretch down the sleeve of her shirt in an attempt to hide the scars on her skin.

She hated that she’s weaker than she thought she was. And she wanted to be strong– so that Yongsun could lean on her without ever worrying that she’ll break down. Because when Yongsun fusses over her, Moonbyul’s already thinking of ways on how to turn that frown upside down.

She doesn’t know if Yongsun ever found out about the marks on her wrists. She’s simply hoping that she hadn’t.

_“When I fall asleep in your arms.”_

Whenever Moonbyul closes her eyes, she feels joy. But she opts to open them instead, because whenever she sees her sun, she feels love.

Yongsun merely chuckles and calls her greasy as she looks down, straight to the eyes of the younger resting her head on her lap. She told her to sleep, and got a reluctant nod from Moonbyul.

Yongsun just shook her head, knowing that Moonbyul wasn’t really asleep because she still sees her peeking as she sings soothingly.

She didn’t bother scolding her again. She adored Moonbyul’s gazes when the latter thinks she’s looking elsewhere.

_“Even when I’m with you, I miss you again.”_

Moonbyul could breathe again, now that she had her light. But she could still feel the hiccups in her throat when she realized that the sun didn’t need the moon to shine.

She returns to her previous habits – staring at her, teasing her, laughing at her.

She knew it was stupid, her attitude similar to a child who bullies his crush just to gain her attention. But she keeps doing it anyway; she was too afraid of showing these gestures of genuine love, too afraid that they would eventually push her to the edge and capture the sun’s lips against hers.

When she does these gestures in reflex (her arm acting with a mind of its own as it wraps itself around the Yongsun’s waist), or the times she gets lost in her own world (solely staring at her– completely unaware that it had been far too soft and too long to be considered platonic), she scolds herself afterwards.

She bit the inside of her lip, silently criticizing herself for losing control of her actions.

When Yongsun notices, she would tell messages of love, but Moonbyul knew she meant differently.

It was difficult, always feeling torn on what she should feel. She could be happy, trying to be satisfied at just that; but her brain had different plans as it constantly reminds her of the fact that Yongsun will never say it in the way she wants her to.

She still hears Yongsun out every time – preferring to feel the bittersweet blend of ache and bliss rather than the void of emotions. 

_“Don’t go.”_

Yongsun whispered.

She knew that Moonbyul wasn’t really going anywhere – yet she feels a strange distance despite her hand wrapped around Moonbyul’s.

They were walking side by side but she doesn’t bother looking at the taller girl; she didn’t want her to see the building tears on the corners of her eyes.

Moonbyul raised an eyebrow at her, her lips forming a tight frown. As much as she loves the sun, a few more steps closer and she knows she’ll just end up getting burned. Therefore, she sought a distance between them.

She tried to be cautious so that Yongsun wouldn’t notice the wall she’s building.

But Yongsun did– and it wasn’t fair at all. She was finally determined to space herself from her after thinking it over and over on sleepless nights. But a simple pleading from her other half made her resolve crumbling to pieces.

It wasn’t fair that she’s still so weak for her.

Moonbyul breathes, as if asking it to give her strength as she takes another step closer before she burns herself.

Moonbyul whispered that she wasn’t leaving.

Yongsun gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She turned to look at Moonbyul, her face sporting a fond smile regardless of the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Moonbyul reaches to wipe her tears with the sleeve of her shirt, as she thinks– maybe getting burned is worth the smiles she gets from Yongsun.

_“The night sky that we took time counting stars.”_

It was just from the balcony of their shared apartment. It was high enough to see the multitude of stars in the sky and the small lights from the bustling city below.

Despite the fact that it’s probably the pollution they were inhaling, Moonbyul welcomes the breeze. Maybe it could help her ignore the fluttering butterflies on her stomach as Yongsun cuddles closer to her.

Yongsun opened her eyes, removing her head from Moonbyul’s shoulder before turning to compliment the number of stars.

Moonbyul just absently hummed in agreement, her eyes captivated by the beauty beside her.

It was still a wonder for her on how someone could be this beautiful.

Yongsun was still captivated by the clusters of stars gleaming at the night sky, muttering something about how she’s also a star. Moonbyul took the chance of studying the other’s features, including the little descriptions that only she had managed to point out.

Moonbyul only stopped when the sun finally took notice and asked why she had been staring at her lips.

A part of her wanted to be honest, to just lose and allow herself to be selfish. But she doesn’t. She hates this other part of her which convinces her otherwise.

So, she retorts to the dance again – she would throw a greasy line to throw her off, and the latter would hit her while shouting about her weirdness.

The cold breeze wasn’t helping at all.

_“Let’s be together.”_

Moonbyul heard.

There wasn’t any explosion of fireworks or anything that moved her calm heart. She feels it pulse as if she’s just walking. But nevertheless, she thinks it’s a way to move on and says yes to the girl she regularly sees on her way to work. Her face was just doing its best to smile.

A week elapsed in the blink of an eye, and the moon looks at the familiar ceiling of her room, her chest rapidly rising up and down as she tries to regain her breath.

The girl had already slipped away from consciousness, not bothering to roll over to the other side of the bed and instead sleeps on top of Moonbyul.

She covers them up with a sheet, her breathing finally starting to settle.

It wasn’t the first time they’ve had sex, she’s not proud of it– but it happened a couple of times already despite only being together for a week.

Moonbyul knew it wasn’t fair for the girl, because she uses her as a diversion; uses sex as a distraction from her real problems; uses her to maybe see just a hint of jealousy from Yonsun, even though she knew it was a petty behavior (and when she sees that Yongsun was genuinely happy for the two of them, she tries so hard not to grit her teeth).

The worse among what she could list was probably the fact that she sees Yongsun instead of the girl.

That’s when Moonbyul realizes – she wasn’t moving on at all.

It wasn’t long before she breaks up with the poor girl, giving her excuses that only a Casanova would give out, and she admits that she deserved the loud slap to the cheek.

Yongsun soon finds out about their separation and hurries to soothe her, and even though she didn’t feel any sorrow from her failed relationship, she doesn’t do anything to stop her gentle comfort.

They stay on the carpeted floor, with the older already sleeping on her shoulder.

Moonbyul merely chuckles at the soft snores of Yongsun (despite the latter’s denials when she teases her about it). Gently detaching herself, she stands up, carries the other to her room, and tucks her on the bed.

She remembers the past when they slept on the same bed (Yongsun still does– frequently inviting herself to the moon’s bed when the other was already asleep, either seeking comfort from the loud thunders or terrible nightmares, or just acting on the need of warmth from her other half), and misses the way she can cuddle up to Yongsun without worrying about boundaries or the fuzziness in her chest.

She fights herself if she should stay, and that antagonizing part of her head once again convinced her otherwise. She settles with a gentle caress on Yongsun’s cheeks, her gaze solely on her, soaking in the image as if there wasn’t any tomorrow.

With a deep sigh, she stands up ㅡwith failed hopes of Yongsun waking up and asking her to stay the nightㅡ and leaves the room before she surrenders to the greedy creature in her head.

_“Though time may pass, I want to laugh by your side like this.”_

The moon says, in an awfully low volume so that no one else could hear it. She does this every once in a while, it was her way of letting out some of her bottled thoughts. It felt nice– relaxing even.

She sometimes hopes that the sun accidentally hears these whispers, because she can never say it out loud. If she does, the sun will just take it as a greasy comment, disregarding the sincere affection behind those words.

She doesn’t say anything else, a comfortable silence taking over. These were the moments where they just smiled and held each other’s hands. If only time could stop now ㅡ but then again, the moon had a lot of wishes that were left unfulfilled.

Time proved to be one of her difficulties in life, it was constantly moving when the moon wanted eternity.

_“Stay with me.”_

And the moon does, even if the sun doesn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song Backwoods by the late Bae Ho, which was performed by MAMAMOO in Immortal Songs 2. I played the song on loop while typing (It would’ve been a happy ending if I didn’t listen to a ballad lmao). That performance always makes me tear up.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this one-shot! 4withsun~


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